No one will read this, but here goes. I'm feeling better recently. I know this is gonna sound stupid but I found someone on the internet. Omegle to be exact. So we both created new email accounts and still talk. I don't know their name, age, or location. They don't know anything about me either. We just talk. And they listened to everything I ever had to get off my chest. And I talked about some of the things I had going on. And I realized I can't change them. And these are heavy things. Life or death things I'm talking about. I have no say, so I just always prepared for the worst. But, what if I do live? Would I really be alive? I mean I prepared for death and set myself to die, only to realize I could have been enjoying those last eighteen years of my life? So, here I am. And I still think about this one girl, but she doesn't want to date me. And that's ok, but now I'm torn, I want to just respect her decision and let her live her life. But another part of me wants to run up to her and kiss her and tell her flat out that she just has to trust me and know I won't ever break her heart. I cried last night for three hours and I think it detoxed me of my depression, seriously. Is that even possible?